By Sade Namubes
Have you ever felt like your life is going nowhere? Like you are not achieving anything? It is as though you are stuck in one phase of your life; giving you the impression that the universe has given up on you and left you to fend for yourself. If so, then welcome to my life.
I have subconsciously been marking off all the “Not-Achieved” items on my bucket-list and I have noticed that I selected “No” for all the basic ‘requirements’ of what a normal person my age would have already achieved.
Let me provide an example of a dialogue in my mind. Yes. I speak to myself sometimes:
Mind 1: Have you at least finished school?
Mind 2: Yes.
Mind 1: Do you have a degree?
Mind 2: Yes. I have two.
Mind 1: Do you have a job?
Mind 2: Yes.
Mind 1: Is it in the field you studied for?
Mind 2: No! (With many complicated reasons attached).
Mind 1: Okay. Let’s move on to your personal life. Do you have a boyfriend?
Mind 2: No! And that counts for every other question that precedes this question! I do not have a boyfriend, potential boyfriend, fiancé, husband, baby or any other children.
Mind 1: Okay then. Thank you for the information. May I ask one last question?
Mind 2: Go ahead.
Mind 1: What about your friends?
Mind 2: (Dial tone…caller hanged up)
Your imagination might not be as vivid as mine, but I am sure you may have had thoughts like these in your mind a couple of times. You see yourself as a failure and you feel worse when you look at your friends and what they have achieved. So, naturally, you may be feeling very blue at this point in your life. You may even be experiencing a ‘quarter life crisis’ (yes that is in fact a real thing). So how do you get yourself to go on, and live, despite feel like such a loser? Easy, you find your source of joy. it may or may not be on your bucket list and most likely does not hold any financial benefits.
Finding your source of joy is easier said than done. When going through moments of depression, it is often very difficult to see the good in every bad situation. All things dark rule your world during that time of your life, but the key is “holding on”. In the hardest times of your life you need to learn to hold on to that one thing that has always helped you through a difficult situation. In life we lose a lot…. We let go of a lot, but refuse to lose your ray of sunlight.
For me my ray of sunlight, or source of joy, has always been 3 things: God, Ice cream and my friend’s babies. Without these three, especially my faith, I may have ended my life a long time ago. They are the three things that have been a constant in my life despite the hardships. If it weren’t for these three rays of sunlight, I would have sunk beneath the waters of depression. I am not saying they are the life guards to a lonely and hard life…No! They are a life jacket, keeping you above the waters, in foreign seas.
So find, and hold onto those little sources of joy, no matter how big or small, because you may need them one day.
PS: Remember Noah built the ark years before the great storm!
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Author: Sade Namubes
An introvert that chooses to share her feeling through writing, Sade Namubes believes she is a thinker and not a writer. Her writing is her love letter to the world.